Reframe Your Thoughts, Improve Your Mood
Sorry about the delay folks. I forgot to press publish on this one last month! Just wanted to keep you on your toes and prove that I am human :)
So (better late than never) I am rounding off my Mood Boosting Method© blog series with the final step: Reframe.
This step is all about identifying any limiting beliefs that may be holding you back and catching and reframing negative thought patterns.
Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are the convictions that we hold about ourselves or the world around us that we believe (falsely) to be true. They hinder us from taking opportunities and reaching our full potential. Left unchecked they can perpetuate a negative state of mind.
Some examples of limiting beliefs might be:
“I thrive on stress”
“I’m not good sleeper”
“I’m too tired to make a change”
“I’m can’t get through the day without chocolate”
“I can’t relax without wine”
But could they can also run deeper to:
“I’m not good enough”
“I don’t deserve to be happy”
“I’m never going to be succeed”
Limiting beliefs develop throughout our lifetime as a result of our upbringing, education and life experiences. Often these beliefs may not be consciously known to us and identifying them might require the support of a therapist, coach or counsellor.
Once known to you, you can work on developing alternative beliefs that serve you better for example:
“Stress doesn’t serve me”
“There are lots of ways I can relax”
“I can do anything I set my mind too”
“Success is within me”
“I am enough”
Consider Your Language
Consider the language you use generally and towards yourself. Is it negative? Are you programming yourself to feel bad because of the words you choose?
For example, if you always say things like:
“I am terrible for eating chocolate when I am feeling low” or
“I’m a sucker for the latest gadget”
Your subconscious mind and belief system is getting the message that you are a terrible person and a sucker. Woah… that is not going to help your mood.
Consider saying instead:
“I am great at reaching for the biscuits in the afternoon!”
“I have a fantastic eye for the latest tech.”
Now you are telling yourself you are great and fantastic. I don’t know about you but I feel better already!
Enhance the Good, Diffuse the Bad
Another tip for lifting your mood with language is to enhance the good and diffuse the bad. When asked how we are feeling, so many of us will reply “not bad” even when we are feeling good!
If you are feeling alright, try saying “I feel amazing” or “I feel fabulous stupendous”. Notice how enhancing your language gives your mood an added lift and makes you feel a little brighter.
Similarly if you are feeling low, diffusing or downgrading the negative language you use can also take the edge off. So for example if you would usually say:
“This lockdown is dreadful, I am having a horrendous time”.
Consider saying:
“This lockdown is challenging and is testing me at times”.
Can you see how this has downgraded the language and thereby diffused its effect on your mood?
Breaking Negative Thoughts
Important Note: All of this is not to say that it is not ok to feel overwhelmed, anxious or low. It is normal and identifying and acknowledging these feelings is important. These are just some reframing tools to put you back in the driving seat and help you to cope.
If you do find yourself in a negative thought spiral, change your state.
It takes 15 minutes to change neurological pathways. Get up and go for a 15 minute walk, or do an alternative distracting activity for the same amount of time.
Notice how your thoughts have changed when you return.
Practicing Gratitude as a Reframe Tool
One of the best tools for reframing negative thoughts and beliefs is practicing gratitude. Focussing on what you have instead of what you don’t have.
So, if your day is weighing heavy on you, take a step back and consider 3 things you are grateful for.
And as always, if you fancy a chat about how I can help you to improve your mood book in for a free call here.